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Macon Chronicle-Herald - Macon, MO
Random Nonsense - The Lazarus Bird
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The Lazarus Bird
Jamison Huhner
The Lazarus Bird
By Jamison Huhner
March 7, 2013 2:56 p.m.



The Lazarus Bird

 

A true story.  Well, most of it anyway.  OK, some of it…

 

I left the house earlier today and returned fifteen minutes later to find, what appeared to be, a freshly deceased little bird (he wasn’t there when I left) lying by the front door, apparently the victim of an unsuccessful attempt at flying through the window of our front door.  I stepped into the house, grabbed a paper towel, and carefully picked him up by the tail feathers to throw him into the garbage can by the curb when he suddenly blinked and gave me a “What the heck are you doing?” look.   I put him back down so he could shake it off  and he flopped around a bit and then flew to a railing just a couple of feet away.  I went back into the house, leaving him to gather his wits.  Thirty minutes later he was still sitting there with a look on his face like he wanted to come into the house and discuss what sort of favor he could do for me for having saved his life.   I told him that my house was no place for a little bird, that a couple of three year old boys have assumed control of the place and it’s, well, dangerous and he wouldn’t last ten minutes in there.   I said “You need to go on now, go back to your own kind, your own species, raise a family, live a good full life and stop flying into windows.  He seemed disappointed, but was about ready to fly off anyway when I said, “Wait, there is one thing you can do.  Please tell all your little friends to stop pooping on my truck.” 

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